Friendships..

Peeps.. kakis.. members.. friends.. u name it.. i'm thankful to have them in my life ..

Letter of the day: F

(I just love the sound of it.. I'm not refering to the bad "F" ok..)

F for friday.. F for freedom .. F for friends...

Friday..

One must be simply out of this world to actually lament on the coming of Friday..

Going out on 'dates' with your best pals, just simply chatting over cups of mint tea plus nuts & raisins chocolates.. or cruising into the regime of going to Body Shop trying out all the lotions & perfumes (the testers are placed there for a purpose ok.. btw, dewberry scent is out.. it's smell a little bit like your daily washing detergent .. well, Im sticking to passion fruit plus that squeeze of strawberry lotion..)

Well, its eeeeven... more syyyyiok to savor that mouth-watering yoghurt blueberry plus 'feerraro rocheo' ice-cream at your favourite ice-cream parlor.. (heck with diets .. Can hardly remember when was the last time I exercise.. most probably running after bus or the mrt during the morning peak hours )

To add on to the girl stuffs list .. the outing wouldnt be complete without trying out clothes at Mango sale.. Giordano (been wanting to get that cool pair of denim jeans.. well...gotta hang till my next pay.. )

And to eventually conclude the day (by that time, it was close to 10 pm) .. lepak-ing (nongkrong2 / hanging out) at Arab Street.. Blisss....

Salute' to friendships now & the future..

mon.... tues...(only tues??)...wed...thur.... (where's friday??)......

OK.. Im losing it.

This week is definitely a drag for me. Time seems to be crawling like forever.. weekends seems to be so near yet so far... Tons of assignments.. Procrastination seems to be seeping through my veins .. my brains.. my limbs.. Thus the fear of "Spiral Effect" overwhelms.. ironically, i didn't do anything about it.. Hopeless Bum...

I think im suffering from a disease - 'Sleeping Syndrome'
(and its getting almost out of hand)

1) i kept yawning during lectures (which seems perfectly fine initially.. at least i was putting in efforts to be awake.. with a little intervention from munching "hello pandas chocolates" .. im gettin on better)

2) i was practically dozing off on every journey to school & home.. (even while i am standing in the mrt)
my worries:- miss the station (late for class .. DIE DIE), accidentally lean on some stranger (its all fine if the fella happen to be a gd looking hunk..but its hazardous if i were to drool while being 'away' in fantasy land with some dude..) DEFINITELY A NO NO ..

3) By the time i reach home.. i immediately seek the comforts of the bed & pillows, especially after having my lunch- cum- dinner (sleeping after eating!!! so much for trying to avoid gastrointestinal pains all this while..)

Negative Consequences:

- haven't do my assignments
- restlessness
- overwhelming boredom
- extreme mental block
- lethargicness
- lost of interest (in practically everything.. except watching Ally Mcbeal series evry 5 pm)
- day-dreaming or staring blankly into space

Root of problem (Hypothesis) :-

I'M DEPRIVED OF KARAOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (WAHH....hhhhhhhhhh... ) arghhh.... ... im losing the colours of life!!!!
Eh people.. can we plsssssssssssssssssss go next week... ????

Recommended Interventions / Cures:

1) Exercise

well.. i can hardly remember when was the last time i sufficiently pump that blood to my head.. ( the only exercise regime was running after the bus/ mrt during the morning rush hour) Even my mum has started her routine by going down to the stadium every Saturday & Sunday morning (tagging my father along to be involved in her new found healthy life style). Been wanting to take up yoga .. but oh never mind.. some day..

2) KTV

self- explanatory.

3) Arab STreet..

(well close peeps.. you Know for what lah ahh.. - looking forward for friday nites... Anyone is welcomed to join .. Ameen will be more than happy .. the more the merrier..)

4) My Dear Peeps..

Awww..... okok.. finally catching up with my social life ... weekends... weekends... the last time we met was during the our date to watch Anugerah Planet Muzik 2005 (which was a blast anyway.. finally got to see in- person Ariel from Peterpan, even Dewa:- mind blowing performance, the 3 Divas - melly, K.D. Siti were spectacular & Saiful Apek.. Apa Kes Ni?? Dua belas lagu skali gus.. Main bedal jer lagu orang.. tapi Gua tetap salute' sama lu.. kamulah Kebanggaan Negara Malaysia.. hehe.. )

I have a strong feeling that I'm going to drive this one someday... someday..

Love is in the air...

Love Chemistry.... MUAH.....!!!

I am attracted to you..
Like an electron to a proton
Together we form an ionic bond
Though we are opposite charged ions
I am drawn to you
Our love is unique as an orbital
For only two electrons can fill this space

As my love for you increases
My energy level rises
I am in this excited state
Increasing the tendency to form a chemical bond

I was an element
It took you to make me a compund substance
Falling in love with you is a chemical reaction
Which cause my love for you to grow..

Ours is an exothermic love
Each for giving off love not just absorbing it
Sometimes you do something especially nice
Which speeds up the chemical process
Like a catalyst in my increasing love for you

I realise we have our inhibition periods
Ans sometimes I am selfish enough
To be endotehrmic reaction
Only absorbing your love

The feeling I have for you is so intense
It cannot be measured in kilojoules
Often I have to make a qualitative elemntary analysis
To understand and love you more

But i don't expect to know your empirical formula
You are too complex a person for that

When you are gone
I am a noble gas
An inert substance

When I am without you
The world seems still
And I am at equilibrium..


Courteasy of Unknown...

Plead the Fleeting Moment to Remain..

Al-Fatihah.. In Loving Memory of my Mak Wan (granma) - Maznah Bte Awal, 13 Feb 2005.

Family. Nuclear or extended.. so be it. Most importantly, we are blessed with one. A major part of my life evolves much around my maternal family side, due to the fact that my parents had decided to settle in Singapore eversince they tied the knot together. As a result, special occasions & school holidays were the only times where my siblings & I are able to keep in touch with our relatives located across the Causeway, may it be in Jasin or K.L. In fact, I can't even remember when was the last time we actually met the whole entire family (like we used to when i was very much younger..) at Mak Wan's kampung..

13 Feb 2005. 5a.m.

The day when i was awoken by the breaking news of the death of my Mak Wan. We headed immediately for kampung that very morning.. Never would I expect to return kampung for such a purpose.. not this... As much as I want to return to the place, where i used to run around, played hide & seek 'bawah kolong' or play-pretend at the front porch of the house with my cousins.. it never cross my mind that there would come the day where, this is the reason of our return to the village.

11 a.m. Location: Jasin, Jalan Kesang Tua, Melaka.

We were welcomed by the curious expressions & stares of many of the villagers (whom I assumed to be mainly relatives and close family friends living around the vicinity). I was desperately looking for the familiar faces of my cousins whom I meet twice a year, unless there are any other special gatherings taking place at the village, happy occassion that is. My brother (the anak mat saleh sesat) was the centre of attention, as usual. Even the elderly aunties were closely analysing my face (trying to dig their memory box where they've seen this girl)as i reached out my hand to pay my respects to them.As a family, we headed into the house, already filled with people. We paid our respect to my granma.. as some of the puzzled-looking makciks looked on. There she was, lying peacefully & motionless as i kissed her cold forehead. As usual, at every death of any of my close relative, I was expressionless & emotionless.. as though my conscious was just leading me on to do the right thing, while blocking my box of emotions. All i could do was to stare at my granma, while trying to comfort my little cousin. The sad thing was the fact that I didn't spend much time with my granma to feel the impact of her death, unlike my other cousins.

One by one, kissed her for the last time. That was the time in 5-6 years, where I saw my all of my aunties, uncles & cousins present, to bid my granma goodbye. It was as though with the leaving of Mak Wan, it had brought the whole entire family back together.. A blessing in disguise indeed.

Today was the day that I know my granma's full name, Maznah Bte Awal, the first time I visited my late grandfather (Tok Aki) & both great grandmothers' grave...

Finally..

I thought I would never get to do all these, looking at the low frequency of having me to return back to kampung. Nevertheless, I was grateful.. to be able to meet my cousins.. Weird to say, I was very much happy to spend time, cleaning up, talking, gossiping, updating one another on his/her life, joking, remembering the days when we were as playful as the younger ones, it was as though I was brought back to the times when we were running around playing bunga api or mercun while Mak Wan, Aki & our fathers were cooking the dodol paste or preparing lemang.. Even the young ones warmed up quickly to us.. joking and playing with us. It was definitely a heart- warming moment.. and yeah..

I wished it would just remain there, as it is..
"Plead the fleeting moment to remain.."

The only constant thing in life is Change.. Things have changed tremendously over the years.. yet trust me.. the feeling of satisfaction were there to stay. It was the only thing which keeps you going back to where you actually belong.From this trip, I've finally discovered where I've got my passion of reading (since im always considered abnormal for having reading as my hobby since my mum detests on the idea of reading). I felt so at home when i realised that my other cousins were into reading as well; right from the newspaper to magazines to novels.. ahh... its the paternal genes.. for once.. I had a reading company..

From this trip too, I just remembered that my name is 'Dak Sha Sha' -represents for 'budak Sha sha'.. (most of them were asking me if I was 'Dak Sha Sha' & I couldn't answer obviously, until my mum came to my rescue, assuring them that I am "Dak Sha Sha") Well..at least, it sounds better than 'Esah.. ' The people there have this tendency to call anyone starting with 'Dak'.. So you can imagine the grandaunties & granduncles calling my father - 'Dak Lan' . Weird? Well.. welcome to Jasin..

Even the granduncles, who used to tease me & my cousin yanti (we were the famous naughty duo during those golden years), couldnt recognise us at all.. Some didn't change to a certain extent suprisingly .. For instance, Ive got this young hip rock granduncle who loves to wear his shirt barring his midriff (dier maseh buat gitu sey.. badan pun maseh sekeping..haha..) Some of the 'used to be good looking' uncles , who used tease us, have now settled down & you will be surprised that they looked like they fit to be your granfather (Hai.. dah jadi bapak budak...) Well.. maybe this is what the Hindustani movies were trying to portray when one fella who's been staying in the concrete jungle finally return to the where they belong.. the feeling.. the joy, the sadness, the kecohness, the family bond..I tell you .. I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world..

5 pm, Monday, 14 feb 2005

Well.. we were there for only 2 days.. However, the memories were definitely worth a lifetime.. As we were about to leave, one of my little cousins were asking when will we return.. After assuring him (& myself) that we will be back for my elder cousin's wedding in May.. he finally returned my smile.. Looking back at the young ones standing at the gate, waving goodbye excitedly at us..I know that we will be going back again.. InsyaAllah..

Look Out for this Hot Chick on the Road..

Farewell gift -> Yellow Ang-Baos Called 'Cha-Cha'

Well ..sad to say (not THAT sad..) today was my last day at work, at one of the infamous neighbourhood school. The so-called the 'school experience' for 5 weeks passed by too quickly for me to actually invest that much of an attachment feeling to the school.. Despite this, saying 'goodbye' to my current bunch of aspiring 'zoo enthusiasts' - majority had similar behavioral attributes to the current dwellers there, you see, was kinda of 'touching'.. ..

It all started out by making them write me an involuntary -turn- voluntary anonymous 'love notes' to me.. (getting them to be in the mood for Valentine's day.. yah rite..!)

Obviously, I was not asking for the traditional sappy heartbreaking love notes.. but instead, they had to answer my anti-climax questions:-

1) Why do u Love me so much?? (eeee..... wah liao.. puke puke.. ..hahahah.. just kidding.. i do not need the letter to tell me that you guys gonna miss me.. hahhaahha...)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok seriously.. here goes..

1) What part of my lesson do you like most? (its a way for me to basically gauge how berserk i can be when i am in the actual classroom settings..)

2) Which Chemistry topic they find it hard to understand (even after reading it umpteen times to the point that they give up..)? U should see the boredom on their faces during the lessons.. my gratitude to those who tried to stay awake.. by yawning or standing..

3) How do you actually study for Chemistry? (not studying is an option, though,franckly speaking, its not a wise option.. it was never, in fact..)

4) The rest of the content.. no limits..

Ahh.. its the last part which makes life so interesting.. especially when it comes to freedom of expression from the creative/ sarcastic bunch..

Let me share some of the replies that were rather eye-catching..

Dear Ms A,

-I love u very much because.. there are very few people who are shorter than me - no offence..

-Sometimes the lesson can be rather boring.. but your 'tarzan' voice keeps me awake :p

-Felt like she is one of the students too.. maybe its because of the age or could be the height... hehe..cool..

-Kind, great & short..

As you can see from the above.. alot of attention was focused to my natural gift of being petite.. well.. at least they were trying to be honest.. and sincere .. This is the only class whereby you get to see one of the male students holding on dear to his bear raccoon keychain..(practically everytime) an unexpected act from someone who intially seems to carry that 'bo-chap ah-beng' look.. This is the class that you definitely would like to take up when you first embark on your professional teaching career track.. a morale booster packed with loads of fun!!

(Too bad for those who were absent.. u guys missed getting my yellow Cha-cha 'ang baos' ... )

Come on, I'm not that mean to spoil the festive season mood.. Ive left your share with your favourite Chemistry teacher.. Claim them on Monday.. that is if there are any leftovers.. hah!

Packed with a good facial treatment at the end of the day plus a good book & good brewed coffee.. what more can I ask for?? (Chocolates would be good.. Belgium or Delfii please.. )

Another Hottie on the Run.. (Temperature Running High!!!!!)

My Vamp_005 .. Whoa...Getting Hot Hot... Ahhhh.... Smoooooooth....

Gists of Me.... (Never Judge a Book by its Cover..)

Human Being: Gullwing_jazz.

Indulgence in Food:

Dunkin Donuts (normal intake = 3 minimum), Cinnabon Cheese Puffs, Sushi (all courteasy of the Malaysian Govt), yogurt, chocolates (Belgium will do.. ), cheesecakes (chicago or blueberry), KFC's cheese fries, Ooty's dhosai & briyani, laksa (exclusively at Penang roadside only), Banquet J.P. Popiah, Durian / Malacca 'Lempuk Durian' - a.k.a durian past with brown sugar (gula melaka), Malaysian Seafood ahh..

Obsession:

Karaoke (Loyal customer of KTV Partyworld), Travelling (J.B pun jadi.. at least once every 3 months), Sheesha (needed it, at least once a month), sleeping & music.

Detests: Extreme cold weather (willing to stay stinko if hot water not available), dangdut clubs plus the whole entire industry of it, extreme public expression of 'love' at public areas, 2- faced / backstabber individuals & of course, not forgetting MCPs & when my PC goes 'nazak'/dead on me.. (help Cik Ilah & Cik Ameen !!!!), mat 'kotai's or mat 'rempit's.

1) If I don't get my way....

I might just try to impose on others. Push it hard until i get the vibes that it is wrong..hehe.. Sometimes i just shuddup.. and tolerate.. vent it on karaoke..

2) Greatest strength: Loyality in Friendship & Strong-headedness

3) I usually react to negative comments by .....

listening (sometimes..if I'm not tired or have the mood). Most of the times I calm myself down.. (if i know its supposed to be gd) If not, .....lalalalalalala..... (huh? huh? eh..need to go toilet ahh.. urgent.. wah liao ^$^%^%*&^@#@#@. Coooool.... Relek...)

Bad Habits :

Bitting on my straw, overly used expression 'macam siak', naggy, shake my leg (when i sit, waiting to cross the road.. or nervous, or when im thinking very deeply..), judgemental (at times..), 'nantuk' instead of 'ngantuk', losing my cool when jokes starts to touch on sensitive personal issues (i know its a joke.. mind your own 'ahem' can???), sounding as though im scolding you when i talk.. (somehow lack of that feminine hormones in that area, i admit.. nothing to worry if u do me no wrong.. im enjoying the conversation .. ), all so sensitive when im cranky & lack of sleep & indecisivity.. (is there such word to start with???)

Latest addition:-

ok.. (courteasy of prabz.. :- I do eat my chicken bones damn clean.. if yours arent, most prob i clean it up.. im saving food ok.. even though its gross.. well..at least i dun 'eat' my mother's bones like someone.. hehe..) plus the fact that i play with my food sometimes.. mix here n there.. chilli with coke.. the pepper.. plus the salt.. wana the ketchup..ok.. barbacue sauce? k.. a damn gd marinate for that bbq- sweet-tangy-mild taste.. u may add lemonade to add zest to the taste buds.. Bon- Apetite!!

Hey You Out There....

Ya ya..its another personality test.. but trust me, it helps if you are trying to learn to understand yourself better..

Are you the Blamer or the Leveller or the Distractor or the Cool Cookie.. ?? (Guys, you're obviously welcome to try it out...) Have Fun...

http://quiz.ivillage.co.uk/uk_relationships/tests/personality.htm


TAAA..DAAAA>>>>>> The Verdict :- The Leveller

1) Who are you - and why?

As a leveller, you've got your life together. While other personalities major too much on thinking or feeling, you are in perfect balance. You respond to situations with clear-sightedness, taking your cue from your feelings, but using your mind to help you make decisions and action plans.

2) The positives:

You're very together. You really take life by the scruff of the neck and do what you want with it. You make and achieve your goals because you have all the bits of the lifestyle jigsaw.

3) The negatives:

There aren't many other people like you. You might sometimes feel you're the only sorted person in the world! The leveller at work: You are a good colleague and team member able to support but also keep people on task. You're particularly good at management roles where the need is to balance out different sets of needs without getting swamped by your feelings.

4) The leveller in love:

You are a great partner because you rarely get hooked into the sort of destructive patterns that many of the other personality types do. Your love match is: Your ideal pairing is with a leveller and you'll both live happily ever after. With any of the other personality types you risk doing all the giving, simply because you are more together than they are.

5) What should you do?

Carry on doing what you're doing and make sure that your friends, relatives, colleagues and partners are duly grateful for your having you around.

U Gotta Check Out This Babe.. HOT Siah..

My Obsession.. Venom.. Got Time for A Ride...

Chill Down Bytes...

Gists of Quickies..

Quickie 1:Check twice before making bold statements. Do the math again. Does it add up?

Overview:You never thought you'd be in the mood to work overtime, but here you are -- to-do list in hand, totally unwilling to be coerced into leaving the premises until your list is completed. Don't worry. It's temporary.

Trust me.. this is such a coincidence..I've been feeling this way eversince i started at JTSS. Making lists of what-to-do (ive wasted alot of Post-It's on tht..) ..leaving school at 5-6 pm.. (i was thinking maybe i was at the lower end of my productivity scale).. and suddenly..this horoscope reading just coincidentally further confirm my hypothesis.. how interesting..but yah.. its o-n-l-y t-e-m-p-o-r-a-r-y... hmm..

Quickie 2: This task only seems overwhelming. Break it into parts. You can do it.

An important focus of mindset for anyone who's stuck in a deep cow dung poop.

Quickie 3:The ground is shaky and prone to upheaval. Walk slowly. And don't get cocky

Overview:If you're single, don't bother looking any further for your new love than within your current peer group. Might be someone new. Might be someone you've known for some time. Doesn't matter. Allow yourself to be surprised.

OK.. this one caught my attention really. New or Old ? Doesn't Matter.. Reminding myself not to get too 'into' it. Lurve the last sentence. New Principle of Life (for now..until the wind changes). Avoid questioning fate too much as it will only lead to more tangles & confusion. As they say, a practical person never allows his sentiments to muddle with his judgements. (well.. almost..for normal beings like us)

New word for the day: Canoodle
Meaning: Doing that 'dirty thing'.
Location found: Newspaper - found it while i was reading the article about public showcase of affection which is gettin rather explicit nowadays. Sick! .

Well.. today started off nicely with me doctoring my pc.. i had to since my homepage was a direct link to some porno website. must be my sister's doing as she loves downloading stuff without knowing that its a spyware and BOOM! (suddenly appear right in front of you things you wish you never see..) so, finally Dr Aisha did her work..right from scanning for virus, defragmenting, running my spyware doctor, updating Windows Microsoft Office and i even change my screen saver to some realistic looking goldfish aquarium..

(now i dun need to worry about forgetting to feed the fishes & finding them floating upside down dead within the next 3 days.. i can have all year round, the same goldfish swimming happily..yeah... hehe..)

There, i moved on to watching movie trailers of 'Meet the Fockers', 'The Son of Mask' – damn cute.. , and even some winnie the pooh movie. I even played checkers with Prabha online.. kinda of fun even thoough i lost..but i redeem myself when i won a game of tic tac toe..hehe..

Staying at home the whole day.. awaiting to watch 'Mary Poppins' in the evening was definitely worth it.. A bunch of 'spit-spots' & supercalifragelisticspallydoucious... whoaaaa... quite a pack.. but i manage..

And yah.. to make life more interesting , this afternoon i received a call from some travel company.. saying that I've won some travel thingy..mp3 blah, blah.. coz i filled up some form, which frankly speaking, I dun remember filling it up.. (but u bet i was damn excited since I've been mentioning to you guys about me wanting to go for another big holiday spree..) The lady told me that I had to come down for a briefing on sunday afternoon.. (somehow it didnt stop there)

BUTTTTTT.....

1) I had to be 25 and above
2) Must have credit card. HMmm.... strange winnings.. aper sey?? So, eventually she told me to get my mum instead.. So, i finally told my mum.. knowing my mother..she was suspicious.. y the heck i had to have a visa to win this thing (what crap siah??) she told me her friend got such similar calls saying that they've won stuffs but in actual fact, they want you to get the travel package first, then you will get the voucher.. bla bla.. tak happy punya pasal..mak aku pun talipon balik orang tu..kena condemn lah orang tu..

Haizz... 'Tipah Tertipu'.... Excitement was from mountain sky high which then collapsed down straight to the middle crater of the Earth.. so much for being lucky on a saturday morning.. But come on... Its ok.. saving up for holiday will still be an available & much more viable option.

Prayers... Hear Them...

Finally finish doing up all my lesson plans .. its 2.15 am.. hmm.. ive got like to bear for a year to do all the planning b4 stepping into the class... sad..well.. just now i was watching the ending of Bruce ALmighty on HBO.. it was this scene whereby Jim Carrey met God again.. this tym, God asking him to say his prayer (he never did b4 u c..) That part was nothin.. the part which got me thinking was what he prayed for.

Praying for someone to be happy & safe all her/his life, regardless of whether the person ends up with you or not. You may not get exactly what you planned for coz' God has greater plans than you can ever think of. Only He knows the best. (Seriuosly, this sounds like a self assuring prophecy as well as a sincere prayer but I guess it works most of the time.. well, for me at least..) Come to think of it.. been doin it eversince i kept falling out of with anybody at the different turning points of my life.. the only way to console myself.. as well as to prevent myself cursing anybody to the max. It is the modest way of letting go.. but once you see your prayers becoming reality right in front of your eyes.. you know you've done the right thing .. not just for yourself but the person as well..

What You See and what You dun, is what U get...

Beauty? Everyone talks about 'extreme makeover', ' my hair too big" "my thighs too fat" "my bum too flat", my breats too saggy.." watever.. seriously our mind are constantly moulded by the massive waves of media:- tv, magazines, music videos, artists, all sorts of breast implantation ads (one even featured one of the sch classmates - whom i hear that she's going out with this old guy and happily sign a contract with the bust company..) well, there are times where i have to admit..i do feel the inferiority.. im a just a human duh..

There was this newspaper article which gave me the relief tht having imperfections are perfectly normal after all. even when it comes to choosing partners..we tend to look at the appearance..but again, what last arent the smashing smmoth skin, or well toned body (or ass for that matter)..it's the personality which lives eternally. The beauty lies within in your heart.

Main advise: Dont discount the potential partners juz bcoz they are just much less gd looking. For all u know, that less than gd looking dude/gal has beautiful personality traits, more than u can ever think of..

But again, how long will it take for someone to realise that? wud it be too late by the moment one wakes up from the deep trance ? how many actually like you for who you really are? it isnt the looks right..or is it?

have u heard the phrase that "the uglier u r , u better be damn smart to live ur life by" - what crap??? okok.. it is true to a certain extent...

but such prophecy will never live long to leave a legacy... its all bullshit.. yah..thats what ive been telling myself.. up to this very moment..

U should too..