Plead the Fleeting Moment to Remain..

Al-Fatihah.. In Loving Memory of my Mak Wan (granma) - Maznah Bte Awal, 13 Feb 2005.

Family. Nuclear or extended.. so be it. Most importantly, we are blessed with one. A major part of my life evolves much around my maternal family side, due to the fact that my parents had decided to settle in Singapore eversince they tied the knot together. As a result, special occasions & school holidays were the only times where my siblings & I are able to keep in touch with our relatives located across the Causeway, may it be in Jasin or K.L. In fact, I can't even remember when was the last time we actually met the whole entire family (like we used to when i was very much younger..) at Mak Wan's kampung..

13 Feb 2005. 5a.m.

The day when i was awoken by the breaking news of the death of my Mak Wan. We headed immediately for kampung that very morning.. Never would I expect to return kampung for such a purpose.. not this... As much as I want to return to the place, where i used to run around, played hide & seek 'bawah kolong' or play-pretend at the front porch of the house with my cousins.. it never cross my mind that there would come the day where, this is the reason of our return to the village.

11 a.m. Location: Jasin, Jalan Kesang Tua, Melaka.

We were welcomed by the curious expressions & stares of many of the villagers (whom I assumed to be mainly relatives and close family friends living around the vicinity). I was desperately looking for the familiar faces of my cousins whom I meet twice a year, unless there are any other special gatherings taking place at the village, happy occassion that is. My brother (the anak mat saleh sesat) was the centre of attention, as usual. Even the elderly aunties were closely analysing my face (trying to dig their memory box where they've seen this girl)as i reached out my hand to pay my respects to them.As a family, we headed into the house, already filled with people. We paid our respect to my granma.. as some of the puzzled-looking makciks looked on. There she was, lying peacefully & motionless as i kissed her cold forehead. As usual, at every death of any of my close relative, I was expressionless & emotionless.. as though my conscious was just leading me on to do the right thing, while blocking my box of emotions. All i could do was to stare at my granma, while trying to comfort my little cousin. The sad thing was the fact that I didn't spend much time with my granma to feel the impact of her death, unlike my other cousins.

One by one, kissed her for the last time. That was the time in 5-6 years, where I saw my all of my aunties, uncles & cousins present, to bid my granma goodbye. It was as though with the leaving of Mak Wan, it had brought the whole entire family back together.. A blessing in disguise indeed.

Today was the day that I know my granma's full name, Maznah Bte Awal, the first time I visited my late grandfather (Tok Aki) & both great grandmothers' grave...

Finally..

I thought I would never get to do all these, looking at the low frequency of having me to return back to kampung. Nevertheless, I was grateful.. to be able to meet my cousins.. Weird to say, I was very much happy to spend time, cleaning up, talking, gossiping, updating one another on his/her life, joking, remembering the days when we were as playful as the younger ones, it was as though I was brought back to the times when we were running around playing bunga api or mercun while Mak Wan, Aki & our fathers were cooking the dodol paste or preparing lemang.. Even the young ones warmed up quickly to us.. joking and playing with us. It was definitely a heart- warming moment.. and yeah..

I wished it would just remain there, as it is..
"Plead the fleeting moment to remain.."

The only constant thing in life is Change.. Things have changed tremendously over the years.. yet trust me.. the feeling of satisfaction were there to stay. It was the only thing which keeps you going back to where you actually belong.From this trip, I've finally discovered where I've got my passion of reading (since im always considered abnormal for having reading as my hobby since my mum detests on the idea of reading). I felt so at home when i realised that my other cousins were into reading as well; right from the newspaper to magazines to novels.. ahh... its the paternal genes.. for once.. I had a reading company..

From this trip too, I just remembered that my name is 'Dak Sha Sha' -represents for 'budak Sha sha'.. (most of them were asking me if I was 'Dak Sha Sha' & I couldn't answer obviously, until my mum came to my rescue, assuring them that I am "Dak Sha Sha") Well..at least, it sounds better than 'Esah.. ' The people there have this tendency to call anyone starting with 'Dak'.. So you can imagine the grandaunties & granduncles calling my father - 'Dak Lan' . Weird? Well.. welcome to Jasin..

Even the granduncles, who used to tease me & my cousin yanti (we were the famous naughty duo during those golden years), couldnt recognise us at all.. Some didn't change to a certain extent suprisingly .. For instance, Ive got this young hip rock granduncle who loves to wear his shirt barring his midriff (dier maseh buat gitu sey.. badan pun maseh sekeping..haha..) Some of the 'used to be good looking' uncles , who used tease us, have now settled down & you will be surprised that they looked like they fit to be your granfather (Hai.. dah jadi bapak budak...) Well.. maybe this is what the Hindustani movies were trying to portray when one fella who's been staying in the concrete jungle finally return to the where they belong.. the feeling.. the joy, the sadness, the kecohness, the family bond..I tell you .. I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world..

5 pm, Monday, 14 feb 2005

Well.. we were there for only 2 days.. However, the memories were definitely worth a lifetime.. As we were about to leave, one of my little cousins were asking when will we return.. After assuring him (& myself) that we will be back for my elder cousin's wedding in May.. he finally returned my smile.. Looking back at the young ones standing at the gate, waving goodbye excitedly at us..I know that we will be going back again.. InsyaAllah..