Stop me before I slaughter anyone!

hey..

This is only the pre-expedition period & trust me ..Im already at the stage of giving up.. (I hate the feeling when things go out of hand.. Stress.. stress.. stress... ) Sometimes .. well.. honestly, many times I asked myself why I had to take this project up and guess what? I havent got a clue.. All I got in return were scoldings, the sheer criticisms, the jeer by those who don't even bother to take a pause to understand the plight that Im in.

Trust me.. i can easily strangle anyone right one.. Luckily, my screws are still tight.. if not, I would have ran amok.. I can't take it anymore, u bet! I feel like running away and leave this whole entire thing..I didnt volunteer myself to be humiliated! But then.. its just so hard to leave just like that.. I guess my conscious is well holding me back.. could be faith.. i duno..

Well..yesterday i was brought down to my lowest point, no doubt. It was rather hurtful when nobody asked how my day was (well..i know that's not the big problem but a smile would have made my day lighter) But the fact that I was bombarded by more workload than i can ever handle & more scoldings.. Have you ever felt that suddenly your world comes tumbling down.. the feeling that suddenly everybody is against you?

I was actually feeling alone and torn apart even though i was actually surrounded by so many people. I duno what went wrong.. (i think i would be in a better position if someone at least tell me nicely) Seriously I miss the days when G.Q was around.. even though there were loads of stuffs to complete, yet G.Q was there WITH me ; not to lead neither to follow.. I was on a hunger pang for that sheer encouragement and support.. unfortunately..not a slight glimmer of hope.. only the bleak future ahead..

Crisis: My Damn Partner.. Damn 'S'

I gave up on him a long time ago..I know he was sent by God to test my limits of patience.. never knew I failed for this one.. beneath that manly, sweet Usher lookalike face, he's such a sarcastic & insensitive individual. Well.. I dont give a damn the fact that you're the heartthrob of many gals out there or well-known as one of the nation's eligible bachelor.. I guess they had forgotten to assess his 'heartware' attributes. Well.. like what they said, never judge a book by its cover.. until you've worked together ..

One thing for sure, he was definitely successful in making a gurl breakdown (me at least ..).. I will never forget the time when he scolded me off for being honest to the lady who had lend us her van, for us to carry out our donation drive. Even my dad forbids himself from berating me in that manner.. I hate it when he pushes his limits .. & I know my patience was wearing off.. The only consolation I had with me at this point of time, was the fact that I have only 2 more months before I am able to erase him away from my life. Its either i change the situation to a 'win-win' ending or remain miserable for the rest of the expedition.

The funny thing is.. initially I thought he would be different.. i was sooo wrong..

Its going to be a tough ride .. & Hang on Tight!!!!